Resolving Conflicts in the Workplace
- pvrletitia
- Feb 12
- 3 min read
Did January feel like one big Monday? And now February does, too? Returning to work after time away can highlight workplace tensions. That one person that just seems to be ‘out to get you’! Or the Manager who annoys you for no reason.
Effective workplace communication can help smooth out some of the rough days and increase your professional presence. All too often, we are misunderstood, or we misunderstand what is being said. You would think that communication would be instinctual, but it is a skill. Communication is always a give-and-take situation. Feeling confident in verbal skills is critical, but an often overlooked aspect that is just as important is our listening skills.
An important statistic is that 93% of communication is nonverbal (38% is tone of voice, and 55% is body language), leaving only 7% as verbal.
There are 9 types of Listening.
Informational – This is what we use when learning
Discriminative – We are all born with it. It relies on the tone of voice vs. words, body language, eye contact
Selective – or Biased Listening – Listening for what you want to hear. When we have a proximity bias or confirmation bias.
Sympathetic—Here, emotion is the key focus. You are listening to the speaker’s emotions. Always use Passive Listening (not interrupting) in this type.
Comprehensive – We are all born with it – however, it requires language skills and is not innate.
Empathetic or Therapeutic – This is similar to Sympathetic, where you aim to understand but take it a step further by relating to the client’s experience “walking in their shoes”.
Critical – Used when analyzing complex information and applying your knowledge – problem-solving.
Reflective - Actively demonstrate that you hear, repeat/paraphrase the speaker’s words, use body language, i.e., lean forward
Appreciative – Listening for pleasure - example: music
Take some time to understand the nuances of listening, and the next time you're in a conversation, pay attention to what’s happening in your mind. Are you truly focused on your ... listening, or are you already preparing your reply? Even small shifts in your listening skills can have a lasting impact. Think of the last time you really felt ‘heard’ in a conversation. Create that space! You may be surprised how the person you are speaking with seems more responsive to your ideas. The tension that you previously felt is not present. There is no limit to how much you can expand your listening skills.
The chart presented earlier highlights the vast amount of information that is ‘transmitted’’’ non-verbally. Take the time to notice the other cues that are happening. Body language, eye contact, or lack of tone of voice: Do you sense a feeling? We used to call this intuition, but successful businesses must have a cohesive workplace to excel. Including all the input you can access is a smart concept. The deeper your communication connection, the greater you create trust and respect.
Observation is an absolute in communication. Just as vital is noticing what we are projecting. Do we appear relaxed and engaged? Do we make eye contact? Are we showing up? Is there an underground feeling that is overshadowing our words?
Listening actively and employing a non-biased, focused approach before we formulate our response opens the conversation to increased productivity for all.
Historically, the workplace has not fully welcomed personal inclusion. Believing that it interfered with productivity. It is impossible to entirely remove our personal coat when we walk in the door. Why not make it work to our advantage?
Developing Emotional Intelligence creates access to greater awareness of your workplace dynamics. While you likely don’t have a personal connection within the workplace, that is even more reason to bring your awareness into the workplace and tune into what those around you need. Using elements of emotional intelligence can benefit how you relate to your co-workers.
Emotional Intelligence - EQ - is generally referred to as having four main elements.
1. ‘Self-awareness’ is our ability to recognize our emotions and how they affect our decisions and our interactions.
2. ‘Self-management’ is how we control our emotions and behavior.
3. “Social awareness’ is how comfortable we feel socially and how well we interpret and respond.
4. ‘Relationship management’ is our ability to remain calm in the presence of distressing situations and interactions. How well can you manage and diffuse conflict? Do you motivate and influence those around you?
When we enter our workplace, we bring our emotions with us. One of the most important things we can do is remember that we all share the same emotions. When faced with the fact that there are going to be those who have more power than you, those from different backgrounds, cultures, and belief systems, remembering we are all peers on an emotional level can help.
Here's to a happier Monday!